de-VICE #2

movie review: "poseidon"

Home
C-CHAN happy snaps!
inane contact details
PAPRIKA: the new anime from satoshi kon - review
one photo says it all: TOKYO DISNEYLAND
TEKKON KINKREET anime preview
KEITAI KOUTURE exhibition
album of the moment: V/A - HIFANA presents NAMPOOH CABLE
ZU-ZUSHI, part 2: IF? Records return to Melbourne
the HISTORY OF JAPANESE ANIME!
NOUVEAU UK ELECTRONICA: disco_r.dance
is this the coolest show on JAPANESE TV?
the best ADVERTISEMENT of all time
JEFF MILLS launches his "one man spaceship" in Tokyo
jonathan more raps about Dr Who: COLDCUT stylee
BEN SIMS labels for Andrez, September 2006
PowerShovel, Ltd.
SPANK ROCK rant a bit to our Tim
FAMKE JANSSEN raps about "x-men 3"
george w. bush: the real state of da union
PLAID: all about greedy baby & i-warp
movie review: STUDIO GHIBLI'S "gedo senki"
new IF? RECORDS sites
WORLD CUP round-up
IFFY links
TOKYO TECHNO parties 2006
muzak of da month #1: joy division rejigged...
movie review: "CARS"
new LITTLE NOBODY info links
BRAZIL music demo competition!
T.O.E. TV 1994
5000 FINGERS OF DR. T - "barbequeued crickets" video-clip
TIM DELUXE: ego killer
DORAEMON: is this the best japanese anime?
cocoa-chan blog
"get yer mitts on it" book selection #2
brazil
completely archaic video-clip of the month
silliest video of the year
the world cup
yoko umehara, art et al
gloria gaynor: that '70s diva
movie review: "poseidon"
little nobody / schlock tactile / andrez bergen
nightmares on wax
kid 606 'sometimes' video-clip
enka!
vegemite: anime stylee!
movie review: "dreamer"
1967
the winners: the coolest, kitschest tv themes
jeff mills 'life cycle' (1994) video-clip
jammin' unit vs. vj sniper (video-clip)
movie review: luc besson's "angel-a"
classic japanese movie previews
si begg / the noodles foundation 'mad as hell' video-clip
evangelion vs. rammstein
kid koala 'fender bender' video-clip
dj shadow 'six days' video-clip by wong-kar wai
plaid 'eyen' video-clip
neil landstrumm / scandinavia
ken ishii - 'extra' anime video clip by koji morimoto
mamoru oshii - 2006
peanut butter wolf / stones throw
mr. scruff
hexstatic
william shatner fuels-up
si begg / noodles 2006
q-bert
kid koala
video archive: front 242 'Headhunter'
movie review: mamoru oshii's "tachiguishi retsuden"
merzbow
from the back of the fridge: cristian vogel (2000)
tony leung: 2046 / in the mood for love
movie review: "the producers"
ninja tune: zen tv II tour
kenji kawai
skalpel
classic movie o' the month
"get yer mitts on it" book selection #1
movie review: osamu tezuka's "blackjack"
wine guzzler of the year award
fantastic plastic machine
coldcut: 'sound mirrors', ad infinitum
gene farris: 2006
captain funk / oe
yamaoka
the glimmers
deep dish vs. madonna
zen paradox / steve law
vitalic
khan oral / captain comatose
luke vibert / wagon christ
from the back of the fridge: claude young (1998)
schlock tactile
calvin & hobbes
the winner: best american comic book cover of all time!
from the back of the fridge: melbourne - voiteck & honeysmack (1997)
from the back of the fridge: ken ishii (1999)
from the back of the fridge: aphex twin (1997)
cyberdada: archive playlists (pbs-fm)
muzak of da month (march): prefuse 73
muzak of da month (april): tachiguishi retsuden soundtrack
de-VICE #1

poseidon_.jpg
...that sinking feeling...



Voyage of the bland: 'Poseidon' rolls again

Andrez Bergen / Special to The Daily Yomiuri

Director: Wolfgang Petersen

Cast: Josh Lucas, Kurt Russell, Emmy Rossum, Richard Dreyfuss, Jacinda Barrett, Jimmy Bennett


If you're going to rebake a disaster movie of such epic schlock-chic value as The Poseidon Adventure, you'd better put together a mighty fine recipe.

From the histrionics of Shelley Winters and the ham-fisted, macho posturing of Gene Hackman and Ernest Borgnine to the (literal) depth-charge of disco just past the stroke of midnight on New Year's Eve, the 34-year-old yarn had it all.

Along with Irwin Allen's next production, The Towering Inferno, it kick-started a '70s genre of faded-star catastrophe movies like Earthquake, Meteor and Airport '75.

When the "Master of Disaster" died in 1991 of natural causes, it looked like the calamity flick had passed away with Allen. But The Day After Tomorrow changed all that two years ago.

Which brings us to this retelling of the upended ship saga.

Again an official Irwin Allen production, Poseidon has been relaunched (with a streamlined moniker) by Allen's surviving spouse Sheila, who incidentally appeared in a supporting role in the original movie.

This remodeled vessel boasts a completely different passenger list. Josh Lucas, fresh from Stealth, stars alongside Emmy Rossum (Phantom of the Opera) and Kurt Russell.

Russell last featured in an Irwin Allen production 40 years ago, in an episode of Lost In Space.

At the helm is German director Wolfgang Petersen. While his tendency in Hollywood has been the production of leaden projects like The Perfect Storm--another big wave saga--and Troy, this is still the man who directed the excellent, suspenseful U-boat drama Das Boot twenty-odd years ago.

Poseidon evinces a partial resurgence in his directorial stride. Under Petersen's control the movie is mostly tight, and at times visually mesmerizing.

For those of you who've somehow missed the multiple TV reruns of The Poseidon Adventure over the past three decades, the plot of that, and its remake, goes something like this:

It's New Year's Eve out there in the big blue yonder. An ocean liner called the Poseidon is carrying hundreds of wealthy passengers on a cruise most people in the audience will never be able to afford, when a rogue wave chugs out of nowhere and turns everything upside down.

The remainder of the story seems to have something to do with Darwin and the endurance of the fittest, as the survivors attempt to escape a pleasure cruiser that's turned immense, partially floating coffin.

In the new version, former firefighter Robert Ramsey (Russell), his daughter Jennifer (Rossum) and her fiance team up with hard-nosed gambler Dylan Johns (Lucas), an annoying suicidal gay pensioner (Richard Dreyfuss), a single mother with her geeky son, an alcoholic card shark named "Lucky" and a Catholic stowaway with claustrophobia.

Some of these people, of course, have "doomed to die" tattooed across their foreheads from the outset.

But who really cares?

The acting itself borders on the bland--Russell is workmanlike yet distracted, Lucas can't decide if he's earnest or arrogant, and Rossum fades into the upside down interior fixtures.

Petersen has to bear some responsibility for this lackadaisical effort.

Most of the blame rests with scriptwriter Mark Protosevich, whose interpretation of the Paul Gallico novel renders the characters half-baked. He's also completely blind to all the potential elements--dramatic as well as witty--that this topsy-turvy setting could have engendered.

And let's give it a break with the bodies.

We know a lot of people are dead. We've seen their demise quite graphically over the course of events, so why persist with dozens of corpses in various states of decay?

If realism is claimed, then why don't we just throw Protosevich's whole take on the story out of the port-hole, revive the actors, wring-out a decent script, and start again?

Please?

The movie opens today.
(Jun. 3, 2006)

Enter supporting content here

hit right here to sell yer soul and go back to de-VICE #1

new crappy nonsense for a nouveau year